~There was no deadlines or timeframes that had to do with others so I need to grow in self-government when going about my day so setting up a plan early in the am or somewhat the night before.
Today I did a shorter hike and floor/weight exercises, got caught up with email/facebook, talked to Scott Schultz about life policies, organized some papers, chores. Then Micah called and Beau is letting him off early to take the broken CRV back for repairs for which I am grateful. But what I noticed is that it's 12:30 and Micah is getting off at 3:00. All of a sudden I feel I have more of a reason to increase my pace to do the things I had planed like I have greater purpose. This is not how I want to live. I am going to change. I have lots to do and my time if valuable and I've been in my comfort zone for long enough. I don't want to be moving forward in my own strength for I will fall, I want to develop positive healthy habits that will carry me to developing purpose and self education and personal growth loving others abundantly.
~Putting off doing something I want or need to do.
Like procrastinating making the apron. What this does is put me into rushing to get something done, missing the deadline, feeling stressed, doing a rush job, ask others for help when I should have done it myself or not being able to do it at all because I didn't plan.
WHY?
~I don't know how to go about what I want to do.
~Since I try to do things in detail and thoroughly, I delay action until I am satisfied enough. For instance commenting and sharing Mary's new website. I want to think about what to say so I get it right so it's all about me, yuck. No more. I'm excited for her and what the Lord is doing, it's not about me getting the wording all right and being able to express myself perfectly.
1-17-2016
~ Putting all my eggs in one basket
I have tried for 2 jobs and put my hopes in them and neither worked out as planned. I need to drive around and look at what is around me and decide where I need to apply. I just don't know what to do. I also need to let go of my limitations and just go for it.
*Tonight I say an email from Kim:
Hello Carlese,
I don’t know if I am answering your prayers or if you are answering mine.
I am just sending out a “checking in email” Seems you were kind of pshing or inquiring of me
if I was going to have any type of employment options that might work out, to work you, into the
Jubilee family.
I am not sure what you are going to need for hours or pay. So there is a possibility – but we should discuss
what you need, before I extend a formal offer of possible employment.
Blessings
Kim
Lord, if this is you, I'm interested. Help me be open and not afraid to step out and mess up or let someone down, but to trust in You to lead and guide me.
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